From My Side of the Picket Sign

Posted on Posted in Anencephaly, Neural Tube Defects, Opinion, Stories

By Carissa Waldner I see you day after day holding up the sign that continually haunts me, “Babies killed here.” I watch as your supporters show up on the weekends and stand with you, holding pictures of fetuses, showcasing the number of days and hours it takes for a human heart to start beating. Your eyes are cold and judgmental. They pierce through me as I drive by. I avert mine day after day, knowing how you’d feel if you knew my story. Every morning I drive past you with two children in the backseat of my minivan. I spend my days making lunches, driving […]

Malachi, My Angel

Posted on Posted in Neural Tube Defects, Religious Perspectives, Spina Bifida

by S.A. The day you realise your world as you know it has changed forever is a startling one. One that hits you like a ton of bricks. One when you question how the rest of the world is able to keep moving and functioning, oblivious to your the pain and suffering. That fateful day for me was the 10th November 2016. I received the news that my expectant child, a precious baby boy, had an open spina bifida and Arnold Chari Malformation Type 2. Even as those words roll out my mouth now, I still cannot believe that this was and is my reality, […]

Chloe Fay

Posted on Posted in Hydrocephalus, Induction/L&D, Neural Tube Defects, Spina Bifida, Stories

By Zena Mason To the newly bereaved parent: please know that you’re not alone. I want to share my story of medical termination in Australia. This was extremely hard to write and share. In a world full of supportive people we have certainly felt alone because it’s so taboo and people are scared to talk about anything to do with the loss of a child. Unfortunately, we live in a world where we as humans are judged for what shoes we wear, what house we live in and whether we like boys or girls, so when we had to make a heart-wrenching choice it became apparent […]

There are No Words

Posted on Posted in Hydrocephalus, Induction/L&D, Neural Tube Defects, Spina Bifida, Stories

By Holly “There are no words.” This was a response I received from one of my childhood friends when I told her about losing Heath. I had received so many other responses such as “I am so sorry for your loss” or “we are praying for you and your family” etc. and while those responses were nice, “there are no words” was exactly the response I needed at the time. You see, there are no words when someone loses a baby. There are no words when you receive the life-changing ultrasound results. There are no words when you are faced with a decision to terminate. […]

Late Termination in Wichita

Posted on Posted in Induction/L&D, Neural Tube Defects, Spina Bifida, Stories, Termination after 24 weeks, Ventriculomegaly

By Donna My son was my long awaited journey into motherhood. He was my lifeline the day my brother died and I thought the world was ending. He was the glimmer of hope that was offered to family members that horrible week that we had four family members die. He was my everything, and then he was gone. At the end of September 2005, my husband and I found out that we were expecting a child. We were excited to finally start a family. The following week my brother and cousin were killed in a car wreck, then my aunt died from cancer, and my […]

Ella, My Only Girl

Posted on Posted in Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, Neural Tube Defects, Spina Bifida, Trisomy 13 (Patau syndrome)

by D. L. I had just turned 35 and had decided that I wanted another baby. I had three beautiful boys, and had a feeling that if I got pregnant again I would have my little girl. I always wanted a girl. Don’t get me wrong I adore my boys, but I still really wanted a girl. My husband and I argued a lot about the subject because he was done with having kids. We did keep trying though. It didn’t take long and I was pregnant. I was very happy. This was the first pregnancy I really planned. I felt great. I had horrible nausea with the […]

I Wanted Her So Much

Posted on Posted in Agenesis of the Corpus Callosum, Hydrocephalus, Induction/L&D, Stories, Ventriculomegaly

By Alyssa’s Mom We were trying to get pregnant with our first child. When I missed my period I took a pregnancy test but it was negative. I was bummed. I thought for sure I was pregnant as I had felt constant nausea all week long. A few days later my doctor did a blood test. Lo and behold I was pregnant after all. We were absolutely thrilled!  Our baby was due in September and we could not wait. Our first scare in the pregnancy came at nine weeks when I started bleeding. I thought for sure I had lost the baby. The next morning I had an ultrasound scan […]

Still Relevant

Posted on Posted in Anencephaly, Hydrocephalus, Induction/L&D, Multiple Losses, Neural Tube Defects, Spina Bifida

By MJP We’re the women politicians don’t talk about. Women who were pregnant with wanted and waited for babies, not birth control accidents, not rape, and not “irresponsible.” My story is now 24 years old but still relevant. We always thought we would have three or four children. Baby number one was born in 1985 after an uneventful pregnancy, a healthy boy. In spring of 1988 I had my first miscarriage and was devastated. In 1990 I had a second miscarriage. I was told not to worry, that it was only after a third miscarriage that the doctors would be concerned. A few months later I […]

Rage Over Restrictions

Posted on Posted in D&E, Hydrocephalus, Neural Tube Defects, Spina Bifida

By H. R. The pregnancy was very normal and everything seemed to be going fine. I had the free-cell DNA test and that came back normal, so didn’t feel the need for any second trimester screenings. I do sometimes regret that I didn’t have the second trimester screenings as they might have let me get this information sooner, and maybe the termination would have been easier physically. But I don’t know that, so I’ve had to let that regret go along with so many other regrets as I work through this grieving process. The 20 week level II anatomy scan at the perinatologist’s took a long […]

I Just Miss Her

Posted on Posted in D&E, Hydrocephalus, Neural Tube Defects, Spina Bifida, Stories

Anonymous It took almost two years to conceive our first child, Cade. We had him after seven rounds of clomid and one IUI. I got pregnant with Elise the month after I stopped nursing Cade, and the first time after my period came back. It was so easy. I was considered very low risk for everything and didn’t have my first ultrasound until 20 weeks. I was nervous, but also basking in how “normal” this pregnancy was. I got to celebrate and get nervous about how close in age my children would be (22 months). I was a lot sicker than I was with Cade, and I […]