Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION My unborn child has been diagnosed with severe spina bifida with hydrocephalus at week 19 gestation. My husband and I have decided to terminate the pregnancy. The D&E seems cruel to me. I would like to have early induction and delivery abortion (L&D) but I don’t think they will offer it to me. I think that I would cope and grieve more effectively with this termination method. I want to see my child and say goodbye. Do you have any suggestions? ANSWER I am very sorry that you are having to go through […]
Sadly, grief and depression can be seriously compounded by the judgmental, self-righteous condemnation and gloating of others. I sincerely hope you are keeping your negativity to yourself and not contributing to her pain. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION During a routine ultrasound, my sister’s baby girl was diagnosed with a fatal birth defect called anencephaly. My sister, her husband, and our whole family were devastated. She decided to continue her pregnancy, and five months later gave birth to her little girl. She was with us for four days. The impact she had on so many people, doctors, nurses, friends, and family will never be […]
The amnio is between 99.4% and 100% accurate. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION We just received our amnio results and were given the unexpected news that our baby girl is positive with Trisomy 21. I have heard so many stories that others were prenatally diagnosed with a Down syndrome baby, and when they went full-term with the pregnancy their baby was fine. I want to be sure there were no mistakes in the lab. Am I just being paranoid?” ANSWER I’m really sorry that you’ve received a prenatal diagnosis of Trisomy 21. Unfortunately, the happy-ending stories we hear about “wrong” prenatal test results are […]
Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION My daughter has been prenatally diagnosed with a chromosome deletion (4p 15.2 16, possible Wolf-Hirschhorn Syndrome) and we’re having to decide now what to do. I’m 19 weeks pregnant. How do I decide? Any resources you can recommend would be very appreciated. ANSWER We are so sorry you are going through this. It is not clear from your note if you are still deciding whether or not to continue your pregnancy. We are not experts on any particular diagnosis, and would be reluctant to weigh in on such a personal decision even if we were. You can […]
Acknowledging her loss with an expression of sympathy and caring is a thoughtful thing to do, whether it’s a bouquet, a card or a casserole. Although she may not be ready to share her feelings about the loss, believe me, she will not be “just forgetting about it.” We never forget about this type of loss.
Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION Before I join the private support group, it is for only those with fresh grief? I am several years out at this point and have had three rainbow babies. Obviously I still sporadically struggle with my loss and always struggle around anniversary dates. For instance, the recent Grey’s Anatomy storyline was a huge trigger for me. However, I do not want to intrude if my presence is inappropriate for the other members. Is the group is appropriate for someone at my stage? ANSWER The group is definitely not only for those who are fresh in […]
Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. Question We found out at our prenatal ultrasound that our child has chromosomal abnormalities. Because of the poor prognosis for carrying to term and baby’s short life expectancy, my husband and I have decided to terminate the pregnancy. While I overcome with sadness, my real issue is trying to explain ending the pregnancy to my three-year-old daughter. She is an intelligent and charismatic child who is very excited about having a sibling. She talks about her soon to be baby “sister” constantly, kisses and hugs my belly and reassures the baby that she loves her and will be the best big sister ever. […]
Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION When it came to how people reacted and how they treated you around the time of your loss, what things did they say or do that helped you, and what where the things they said or did that were not helpful or were hurtful? (Note: All answers are from members of our community’s private support group.) ANSWERS What Helped It was helpful when people asked me what happened, what was wrong with the baby and what we’d been through. I needed to talk about it. Simply asking, How are you doing? and offering […]