avoid anti-choice zealots

Q & A: How can I avoid Pro-Life OBs?

Posted on Posted in Practical Information, Q&A

QUESTION: Going into a subsequent pregnancy after termination for fetal anomaly, I find I’m really concerned about the politics of my health care providers. How can I tell if an obstetrician (OB), maternal-fetal medicine (MFM) specialist or other health care provider is a “pro-life” anti-choice zealot who won’t support my decisions about my body, my baby and my family? ANSWER: This is a great question and an important one. I actually had (unbeknownst to me at the time) a pro-life MFM. He deliberately delayed telling me my amnio results in an attempt to push me past my state’s abortion deadline. Fortunately, my regular (pro-choice) OB stepped […]

Q & A: Is this an appropriate question?

Posted on Posted in Opinion, Q&A

Just look at these bees, minding their own beeswax. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I appreciate the honesty of Kate C. I just read a piece of her writings from 2015. I’m wondering if mothers who choose abortion for a wanted pregnancy ever request testing on their baby’s bodies to confirm the diagnoses doctors give during pregnancy? And maybe why Kate C didn’t. Her article invited questions, so I’m hoping this is still appropriate. Thank you. Cheryl T.   ANSWER Hi Cheryl T. Occasionally, parents do request testing following an abortion for medical reasons. However, asking Kate C. why she […]

Who the hell are you?

Q&A: Who The Hell Are You?

Posted on Posted in Opinion, Q&A, Religious Perspectives

Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION Who The Hell Are You To Tell People Its Ok To End Life. You Are Not The LIVING GOD! and if you were to read the Bible You Would Know That. How Does Anyone Know If That Baby Was Born and Was A Miracle Baby??? Stop Trying To Out Do What God Has For Us… Doctors Don’t Always Know What Is Good For Us, Now Do They???? Pray as God Does Answer Our Prayers…He Always Has A Plan For US…. ANSWER That’s a complicated question so I’m going to break it down and answer […]

Expecting Adam will not make you a better person

Q&A: Would it have made me a better person?

Posted on Posted in Omphalocele, Opinion, Q&A, Stories, Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome)

What if I had continued the pregnancy? Would my living children grow to become stronger, gentler people? Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I terminated my pregnancy following a poor prenatal diagnosis of omphalocele. Recently, I read a memoir called Expecting Adam by Marsha Beck, the mother of a child with Down syndrome who learned of his condition prenatally and chose to continue her pregnancy. It’s making me wonder if a better person would make a different choice than I did. After reading it, I’ve started to second-guess my decision. What if we’d been more willing to change our priorities? If we’d readjusted our […]

acronyms

Q&A: What are all those acronyms?

Posted on Posted in Q&A

Our list of common abbreviations or acronyms should clear up any confusion about the shorthand we use in our private support group Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I’m new to the private support group. While I love reading and relating to everyone’s stories and situations here, there are so many new acronyms, abbreviations, and shorthand that sometimes I get confused. I really want to understand everything. Is there a list of these I can use for reference when I come across an acronym I’ve never seen before? ANSWER We really do use a lot of abbreviations. Many of these may be familiar from […]

12-week scan

Q&A: Why Not Just Scan for Defects Earlier?

Posted on Posted in D&E, Induction/L&D, Omphalocele, Opinion, Q&A, Stories

Some parents have enough information to make a decision at 12 weeks or earlier, but many are still being told everything is “fine” at that point. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION Why have an abortion so late? Why not just scan for defects earlier? A 12-week scan can pick up most issues. I had a scan at 12 weeks and discovered our baby had a giant omphalecele (all his internal organs were in a sack on the outside of his body). We were told his lungs and heart would not develop properly and he had a 1 in 10,000 chance of […]

destigmatizing abortion

Destigmatizing Abortion

Posted on Posted in Opinion, Stories

By Grace O. Let’s talk about destigmatizing abortion. I’ll start by saying that wherever you are at right now with the word abortion, you are Ok and you are welcome here. Discomfort with the word—and the associated politics surrounding it—are not uncommon in this community, especially with our newcomers. But I think it’s time we sat down with an ice cold of pitcher of lemonade and talked it out. First things first: we are here to support you through your pregnancy loss regardless of your politics. We understand that emotionally, terminating a wanted pregnancy for medical reasons is very different from terminating an unwanted pregnancy. We’re probably all […]

Q&A: Where Can I Find Support?

Posted on Posted in Amniotic Band Syndrome, Q&A

I live in a rural area and am not close to any of the in-person support groups for this type of prenatal loss. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION My husband and I decided to end our pregnancy seven months ago after learning our baby had severe issues due to Amniotic Band Syndrome. I tried several times to sign up for a Yahoo listserv that was featured prominently on the A Heartbreaking Choice® website but got absolutely no response. I’m still struggling with our decision almost daily. I just need to talk to someone who has been there. I do have a counselor and […]

People who disagree

Q&A: How do you deal with people who disagree?

Posted on Posted in Opinion, Q&A

Yes, we have heard many times from people who don’t “agree” with ending a pregnancy following a medical diagnosis. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I’ve ended two pregnancies because of Cystic Fibrosis. We are still trying to welcome a child into our lives, through IVF. Over the last few years, I have written a lot. Now I feel I want to reach out more with my personal writing, maybe through a book, a blog or a web site. Should I use my own name or a pseudonym? I don’t want to hide, but I don’t want the subject to be the decision we made, but […]

monochorionic twins

Q&A: How Do I Comfort Them?

Posted on Posted in Q&A, Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome), Twin-toTwin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS)

There are no magic words that will resolve this pain for them. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I’m not sure if you can help me but, at this stage, I’m open to anything. My brother and his girlfriend, who is 40, were expecting twins. After discovering that they were monochorionic twins, Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) was diagnosed. Based on a decision to aggressively treat the TTTS, they were advised to undergo prenatal screening before embarking on any treatment program. Today, the FISH results of their CVS have indicated Trisomy 21 in 80% of the cells resulting in a diagnosis of […]