After Ending a Pregnancy ~ Ripples of Pain

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Jane Brody Parents who have experienced the joy of bringing a healthy child into the world can hardly imagine the pain of losing a baby, even one not close to being born. I have a friend who suffered three miscarriages, another whose baby died in utero when she was eight months pregnant and a third whose baby was alive at the start of labor but was stillborn. The pain that accompanies such losses is shared by those who feel compelled to terminate wanted pregnancies after learning through amniocentesis or other diagnositc tests that the fetus has serious abnormalities. Last Christmas, relatives of mine, who had been so […]

Grief and the Holidays

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By Molly A. Minnick, ACSW “You just can’t escape the fact that Christmas is about children. It makes it hurt even more that my child is gone.” These words have been echoed many times over the years as almost a universal response to bereaved parents at the holidays. In the religious experience of Christmas, we celebrate a very special birth. There is no escaping this. In the secular world, Santa Claus is everywhere and so are children. To the bereaved parent it can feel like there is no escape at the holidays. “I have to spend the holidays with my extended family where no one […]

Why This Loss is So Hard

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 By Grace O. There is, unfortunately no shortcut through the grief that follows the decision to end a wanted pregnancy following a catastrophic prenatal diagnosis. This unusual form of pregnancy loss is often misunderstood by those who haven’t faced it. It can seem harder than other losses both because there is a decision involved, and because it involves us physically so much. The loss is from our very bodies; the baby we lost was still physically a part of our being. So in addition to all of the emotional pain of the loss of our hoped-for child, we have the physical loss of our pregnant state. […]