Tag: heartbreaking decision

Induction/L&D

Sent Home with a Broken Heart

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I’ll never forget the emptiness I felt afterward. You’re meant to come away with a little baby after giving birth, not be sent home from the hospital with a broken heart. By Emma My husband and I spent five years trying to have a baby. In the midst of transitioning to a new fertility doctor, a miracle had happened. I was pregnant! We were both overjoyed and our hearts were full. The first trimester brought constant nausea, some dizziness, and a miscarriage scare. When we reached the second trimester we sighed with relief. We scheduled a photo shoot to share our exciting news and started […]

Congenital Heart Defects

A Different Kind of Strength

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our baby had hygroma and hydrops

The doctor came in with a very sympathetic demeanor and started saying words like cystic hygroma and hydrops and fatal and miscarry and chromosomal issues. We completely lost it. “What do you mean?” I wanted to scream. I just saw a normal happy little moving baby on that screen a few minutes ago. By Jaclyn When our daughter was just 6 months old, we found out we were pregnant again. I’m not going to lie, I was horrified. I was still breastfeeding, trying to juggle being a new mom, working full time, and adjusting to marriage as a parent. Although I reminded myself daily how […]

D&C

I Just Wasn’t Expecting This

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I just wasn't expecting this

I just wasn’t expecting this. I hadn’t had time to do any research. I couldn’t think of any questions even though my mind was racing and my hands were shaking. By Stefanie A difficult beginning I’m 39 and had three previous miscarriages (no living children). I had my first miscarriage at 36, then two more miscarriages back-to-back to start off the absolute worst year of my life—2020. Based on all of this, a recent blood clot I had, and some test results, I was put on daily injected blood thinners for my fourth pregnancy starting at five weeks. After I passed the seven-week mark in […]

D&C

Giving Sorrow Words

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TFMR for Turner syndrom Ending a Wanted Pregnancy

Though the act of scheduling the termination—and the thought of actually showing up voluntarily to have it done—felt impossible to me, I didn’t ever really doubt our decision. I knew what we had to do, even though the thought of doing of it broke me in a way I didn’t think I could feel broken.   By Roseanne It was a Tuesday, my day off, and naptime when the phone call came. I was reading one last book to our daughter, cuddled up under a blanket in our bed. I didn’t recognize the number, but it was local, and I knew that maybe it was […]

D&E

A Terrible Shade of Grey

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hypoplastic left heart is a grey diagnosis

“Your baby has Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome. The left side of the heart did not develop. This condition does not have a cure.” A Prenatal Diagnosis of Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome I have always been a planner. Before making any decision, I evaluate the pros and cons and research the risks and associated probabilities. When my husband and I decided to get pregnant, I knew that, according to the CDC, 6% of women struggle with infertility. I knew it could take multiple months to conceive. When we got pregnant on the first try, I also knew that 1 in 4 pregnancies end in miscarriage. I […]

Stories

I Chose Peace

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VACTERL

By reading this story I hope you find comfort in knowing you aren’t alone. I hope some of the strategies I used to cope will give you a beneficial perspective. by Nicole C. I was five months pregnant with our second son. My first pregnancy was normal and I was just trying to survive through this one to “complete our family” as my husband put it. Little did I realize how much I was taking for granted. During our routine 20-week ultrasound, my OBGYN found a slight umbilical cord issue. It took me three weeks to get in for my routine Level II ultrasound that […]

D&C

My World Ended With That Call

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I began to love this little baby inside me. And I was sure it was a girl—I even came up with a name. By Anonymous I am 34 years old. I’m originally from Russia and I just got my U.S. citizenship. I am married (it’s my second marriage) and I have a wonderful husband who is originally from Iraq. We have a five-year-old daughter together. I have no other kids. My First Pregnancy I have never gotten pregnant with my husband without wanting to. It took us almost five months to conceive our daughter. This only happened because I read somewhere that Mucinex thins mucous secretions and allows the embryo to implant […]

Opinion

Think About It

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Think about it.

by Margot Finn Do you know what it is like to live in the same house as a room that you intended for a baby who died? God help you if you’ve already set up a crib and changing table. Do you disassemble them yourself in a sobbing rage late one night, thinking about all the times people told you chipperly to “get sleep now while you can!”? Or do you hack them to bits and burn them some bleak February day when you would have been massively pregnant, about to go into labor any day now, in the alternate timeline where your baby wasn’t […]

Anencephaly

No Fear or Regrets

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D&E, No Fear or Regrets - an abortion for anencephaly

I was little more than life support for her and within minutes or possibly hours from birth, she would die, without any sense of me or anything around her. By Sara This is my story of ending a wanted pregnancy. I’m putting in lots of details because it’s what I was looking for when we first decided to terminate, but couldn’t find a story like mine. The Anatomy Scan—The Diagnosis My husband and I and our two-year-old live in Japan. My husband is active duty and got stationed here about three years ago. In late July, I was about 21 weeks along with our second child […]

Induction/L&D

Our Daughter, Gabriella Grace

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Gabriella Grace - Termination for Turner Syndrome

I believe in mercy, and that’s what we hopefully gave our daughter. By Chelsea “Not Compatible with Life.” Crushing words, that confirmed our worst fears. I remember blinking my tear-filled eyes, praying that by some chance of a miracle our daughter would survive. After 20 weeks of pregnancy, and exhausting every possible avenue of testing, willing and praying for our daughter to survive, we were faced with the reality that she would not. The cystic hygroma and fluid had overtaken her body and she was struggling to survive. The Ultrasound I’ll never forget sitting in the OB’s office around my nine-week appointment, excited to hear the heartbeat […]