D&E

A foggy winter morning

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genetic abnormality

I called the abortion clinic with a program for genetic abnormalities. Through sobbing, I managed to make an appointment for the following week to terminate the pregnancy. by Nicole K. On a foggy winter morning, I pick up the baby’s ashes at the post office. It’s just eleven days after his death. The small, square box is conspicuously labeled “Cremated Remains” which manages to even silence our chatty neighborhood postal clerk. I walk back to our minivan carrying a nearly weightless box while feeling the weight of the world. It takes a while for the tears to stop enough that I can drive. I bring […]

Induction/L&D

Left With So Many Questions

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So many questions remain after a termination for Trisomy 13

So many questions remain. Why do I feel like I’m in someone else’s life? Why don’t I recognize myself anymore? What can I do to help myself get better? By Malky It was a storybook pregnancy: perfect timing, smooth pregnancy, I was feeling great, and I’d gained minimal weight. Then we went in for the second trimester ultrasound at 22 weeks and nothing was perfect anymore. Trisomy 13. No chance of survival. Possible dangers to me if I carry the pregnancy to term. The doctor’s advice was “Stop the pregnancy as soon as possible.” Just like that, everything changed. No warning. Six days later it was over. The baby was […]

D&E

The Right Decision for Our Family

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The Right Decision for Our Family - Termination for T21

…to spare everyone a future with lots of pain, suffering, burden and resentment, I made a choice I never thought I would make… By Lauren On October 22nd we found out we were pregnant. I was so excited, but also so nervous about  having a newborn again. Our routine as a family of four was getting “easy” – both my kids slept through the night, they only took one nap and I knew what to expect of their personalities. Nevertheless, I wanted one more and we were lucky to get pregnant on our second month trying. I already had one girl and one boy and this […]

Anencephaly

From My Side of the Picket Sign

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From my side of the picket link - " Anencephaly was the word the doctor handed to me, scribbled on the back of Avery’s freshly printed ultrasound photo. 200% accurate diagnosis is what he stated when I pleaded with him to double check. "

I will never succumb to feeling guilty or selfish for the most selfless decision I’ve ever made. By Carissa Waldner I see you day after day holding up the sign that continually haunts me, “Babies killed here.” I watch as your supporters show up on the weekends and stand with you, holding pictures of fetuses, showcasing the number of days and hours it takes for a human heart to start beating. Your eyes are cold and judgmental. They pierce through me as I drive by. I avert mine day after day, knowing how you’d feel if you knew my story. Every morning I drive past […]

Stories

Hope Crushed

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Trisomy 21 - The hardest part in all this was wanting her so badly.

The hardest part in all this was wanting her so badly. By J.G. After having a miscarriage at eight weeks this year, I found out I was pregnant again at around six weeks. I was excited and nervous to be pregnant so soon after miscarrying. I made it past the eight weeks scary zone and I had my first appointment with the genetics counselor at 12 weeks to determine any risks associated with my pregnancy. We opted to do an ultrasound and the new cell-free fetal DNA (Panorama) testing. The ultrasound looked wonderful and showed no soft markers for any kind of birth defects. I […]

Induction/L&D

A Heartbreaking Journey

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Trisomy 18 - It felt to me like a message from my Stella.

It felt to me like a message from my Stella. By A.R. Our angel Stella Marie was diagnosed with Trisomy 18. This is the story of my heartbreaking journey as I fought against my own faith. I always knew I wanted to get married, have a big family, be able to stay home with my children and then go back to work when they were in school. That was my dream. And although my life took many detours, last October I thought, boy my dreams are all coming true, I am so blessed. I was married to a wonderful man, I had three children ages […]

Hydrocephalus

Chloe Fay

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People are silently grieving, too afraid to let others know what’s going on because they are scared of judgment. By Zena Mason To the newly bereaved parent: please know that you’re not alone. I want to share my story of medical termination in Australia. This was extremely hard to write and share. In a world full of supportive people we have certainly felt alone because it’s so taboo and people are scared to talk about anything to do with the loss of a child. Unfortunately, we live in a world where we as humans are judged for what shoes we wear, what house we live in and whether […]

D&E

Much to Reflect On

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These zealous women didn’t know me, or the pain I was going through. Didn’t know that I was already a mother who desperately wanted another child. Didn’t know my fetus wasn’t healthy. Didn’t know I was a medical professional who of course understood her alternatives.

Induction/L&D

Late Termination in Wichita

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By Donna My son was my long awaited journey into motherhood. He was my lifeline the day my brother died and I thought the world was ending. He was the glimmer of hope that was offered to family members that horrible week that we had four family members die. He was my everything, and then he was gone. At the end of September 2005, my husband and I found out that we were expecting a child. We were excited to finally start a family. The following week my brother and cousin were killed in a car wreck, then my aunt died from cancer, and my […]

D&E

Real, not hypothetical

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by R.S. I was living abroad with my spouse and our 2-year-old daughter when I found out I was pregnant. It was an enormous but welcome surprise. I have polycystic ovarian syndrome and it had taken over two years of fertility treatments and two rounds of IVF to conceive our daughter. I didn’t think I could get pregnant spontaneously, and had planned on doing IVF once we moved back to the US a couple of years later. I wanted to be happy, to celebrate the pregnancy, but it just seemed too good to be true. So at first I anticipated miscarriage. Every time I used […]