I want all the parents out there who have ended a wanted pregnancy to know there is light at the end of each tunnel.

Alexia and Landon’s Mother

I lost my daughter Alexia to Trisomy 18. I was 27 weeks pregnant and it was the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life.

I really thought I would never heal from this loss and in some aspects I haven’t. I still grieve for her. I still long to have seen her little face and held her in my arms, but God had another plan for me. God planned for me to have my son Landon James who I became pregnant with exactly six weeks after I lost Alexia.

My pregnancy with him so soon after my loss was terrifying. I saw a perinatologist, ate all the right things, and took my prenatal vitamins, but I had to leave it up to God. That was hard for me, since I was still angry with Him over the loss of my daughter.

They thought my son had clubbed feet like Alexia did, so I had the amniocentesis. Waiting those two days for the FISH results almost killed me. I prepared myself to let him go if the results came back the same as with Alexia, but instead they came back normal—a healthy baby boy. For the rest of my pregnancy, I was fine. Landon was born with no problems, not with his feet nor anything else.

The day he was born, I found God again and he showed me that this was my path; this was my place, Landon was given to me for a purpose. If things had not happened the way they did with my beautiful baby girl, he would not be here. I thank Alexia for sacrificing her life for her brother to live. I know she will be waiting for me when I go to heaven.

I want all the parents out there who have ended a wanted pregnancy to know there is light at the end of each tunnel. God will show you your path, but He had plans in heaven with your baby. He needs angels and they are always with you. I will pray for you and just know that no matter what the doctors say, God has the final say, and he will never let you down.