First Things First
Who We Are
Ending a Wanted Pregnancy is a group of moms and dads who have made the decision to end a wanted pregnancy following a poor prenatal diagnosis or for maternal health reasons. We know what a hard choice this is, and want to reach out with sympathy and support for other parents who have made similar choices.
Our Mission is to create a safe, nonjudgmental environment where parents who have ended wanted pregnancies for medical reasons can find support and sympathy, and grieve their losses together. Find out how to join our private support group.
What We Do
We share our stories so others may find peace and comfort in knowing they are not alone. Please consider sharing your story of ending your wanted pregnancy, or of how you’ve managed since then, on our web site. Write it down and copy and paste it into the body of an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. We will not publish it with your real name unless you specifically request that we do so.
Health care professionals who wish to share information about our web site can download and share our printable brochure.
A Little History
This special grief community was created by grief counselor Maribeth Wilder Doerr in the mid 1990s, first with a newsletter, then with a web site. We are determined (and honored) to continue her mission. In 2015 we changed our name to Ending a Wanted Pregnancy.
We continually add new articles and stories to our web site, and welcome newcomers to join our private support group.
Yes, We Are Pro-Choice
Each of us owes a huge debt of gratitude to the pro-choice movement, and many of us have gone on to become vocal pro-choice advocates and activists. The purpose of this site, however, is support for grieving parents who’ve been compelled to end a wanted pregnancy for medical reasons. Their needs and feelings are our first concern at this site.
Our stories might sound a little different from what you’re used to hearing about abortion. We talk about our babies, and most are named, grieved, and memorialized in special ways. This may seem at odds with popular pro-choice rhetoric, but it is completely authentic to how many of us feel about our losses.
What We Are Not
We are not a fundraising organization. We are not in this for money; we are here because we care. Everyone working on this site is a volunteer, and the site itself is funded by our dedicated administrators. We do not request donations from grieving visitors or anyone else. The reality is, running a website these days is a relatively inexpensive proposition. We’re not going to give you a song and dance about our expenses, or litter this support site with donation links.
If you do feel moved to give, please direct your generosity to an organization fighting to provide abortions, maintain abortion rights or one that helps the needy to safely obtain abortions. We suggest:
- NARAL Pro-Choice America
- Planned Parenthood
- National Abortion Federation
- National Network of Abortion Funds
You might also consider donating to a medical research organization involved in the prevention or treatment of the medical issue that led to your abortion.
We are not medical professionals. Wherever possible, we link to qualified, respected medical sites for up-to-date information on diagnoses, prognoses, treatments, and procedures. We also provide prenatal diagnosis information index with links to reliable, unbiased medical resources. Likewise, we are not mental health therapists—we’re just parents who have walked this path and want to help others get through it.
We are not in denial. Although at times we may use euphemisms like “ending a pregnancy” “interrupted the pregnancy” or “a heartbreaking decision,” we fully understand that what we had were abortions. And furthermore, because of the timing of prenatal tests, these are often (though not always) second and third-trimester abortions. We are not put off by the word abortion, but recognize that many parents new to our ranks struggle with the word. This is first and foremost a place for them to find comfort and support.
We are not superior. We do not view our abortions as “better” or “more justified” than abortions for other reasons. As we are fond of saying, a crisis pregnancy is a crisis pregnancy is a crisis pregnancy. Our site supports those who’ve ended a wanted pregnancy in the face of a fetal or maternal medical crisis. Abortion is always a deeply personal issue, not a competition for best justification.
We are not perfection seekers. Some of us have living children with special needs, and most of us have beloved people in our lives who have special needs. Most of us go on to have children who, like all humans, like ourselves and like you, are wonderfully imperfect. We always encourage those in the throes of making a decision to carefully explore all of their options.
Welcome to Ending a Wanted Pregnancy.