Yearning for a Miracle

By Yin “Your baby’s head is big. I don’t want to alarm you, but just be prepared.” These words from my sonographer changed my life forever. A few hours before the sonogram, l was anxious. I kept visualizing walking out of my 20 week anatomy scan with reports of a perfectly healthy baby. Little did I know that, instead, I would be frantically calling abortion clinics to schedule an appointment to terminate my pregnancy. The baby that we thought would complete our family was diagnosed with hydrocephalus due to aqueductal stenosis. The doctor showed me images of his large head, pointing out the fluid entering […]

Frozen in Heartache

People say you need to make the best decision for you, and that there’s not a wrong decision. But what do you do when there is not a right decision? By Liane I get it now. You never know true heartbreak until you know true heartbreak. I think back to the worst heartbreak I’ve ever been through and it seems like nothing compared to this. I won’t lie. I didn’t want to be pregnant, at first. It was too soon, too unexpected. I didn’t think we were ready, and I saw myself kissing all my fun trips and my selfish life goodbye. That, on top […]

Sent Home with a Broken Heart

I’ll never forget the emptiness I felt afterward. You’re meant to come away with a little baby after giving birth, not be sent home from the hospital with a broken heart. By Emma My husband and I spent five years trying to have a baby. In the midst of transitioning to a new fertility doctor, a miracle had happened. I was pregnant! We were both overjoyed and our hearts were full. The first trimester brought constant nausea, some dizziness, and a miscarriage scare. When we reached the second trimester we sighed with relief. We scheduled a photo shoot to share our exciting news and started […]

Asher’s Heart

Asher's Heart

Editor’s note: By special request of the author, this story is published exactly as it was submitted to us. We were crushed, devastated, horrified. The rug had been swept out from under us. In a matter of a few days, we had gone from excited to meet our little boy to hearing we may never meet him and on top of that, we had to make that impossible decision. By Jeannine April 29, 2021 was the worst day of my life. That previous Monday night, we had definitively felt our baby boy moving for the first time. My husband and I sat for several minutes, […]

A Different Kind of Strength

our baby had hygroma and hydrops

The doctor came in with a very sympathetic demeanor and started saying words like cystic hygroma and hydrops and fatal and miscarry and chromosomal issues. We completely lost it. “What do you mean?” I wanted to scream. I just saw a normal happy little moving baby on that screen a few minutes ago. By Jaclyn When our daughter was just 6 months old, we found out we were pregnant again. I’m not going to lie, I was horrified. I was still breastfeeding, trying to juggle being a new mom, working full time, and adjusting to marriage as a parent. Although I reminded myself daily how […]

The “least shitty” option

We had to make a choice between rock and hard place, shitty or shittier. The least shitty option for us was to terminate the pregnancy. By Jane After several miscarriages, two living children, then more miscarriages, my husband put his foot down and said, “No more.” We couldn’t keep going on like that. I reluctantly agreed. Once that decision was made, I made peace with having our little family despite always wanting four children. In Jan 2018, I had a funny feeling I was pregnant despite not missing a pill. I couldn’t shake the feeling so stopped drinking alcohol and waited until I could take […]

I Just Wasn’t Expecting This

I just wasn't expecting this

I just wasn’t expecting this. I hadn’t had time to do any research. I couldn’t think of any questions even though my mind was racing and my hands were shaking. By Stefanie A difficult beginning I’m 39 and had three previous miscarriages (no living children). I had my first miscarriage at 36, then two more miscarriages back-to-back to start off the absolute worst year of my life—2020. Based on all of this, a recent blood clot I had, and some test results, I was put on daily injected blood thinners for my fourth pregnancy starting at five weeks. After I passed the seven-week mark in […]

I almost canceled the nuchal translucency

I almost cancelled the nuchal translucency

Typically, a nuchal translucency is performed between 11 and 13 weeks. Mine was late, at 13.5 weeks. The fact that the doctor wasn’t seeing what he should be seeing at this late stage alarmed me. By Morgan At my first ultrasound, I asked the technician, “Is there a heartbeat?” I breathed a big sigh of relief when she said yes. We had learned from the NIPT that we were expecting a little girl, and we had already come up with a name that we both thought might be a good fit. I almost canceled my nuchal translucency test My husband and I were working full-time from […]

It was our choice. To us, it was the only choice.

Our choice - our only choice - Ending our babys life for multiple brain anomolies

It was our choice. To us, it was the only choice. By Erin It has been almost two weeks since we had to end our sweet baby’s life. I hate saying it like that, but to me, that’s what we did. Even though it was the right choice. It was our choice. To us, it was the only choice. I’m 32, my spouse is 30. When we found out we were pregnant in September of 2019 we felt scared, excited, and nervous. But we never thought anything could go wrong and soon we were just overjoyed and elated. Telling our family and friends We told our […]