So many questions remain after a termination for Trisomy 13

Left With So Many Questions

Posted on Posted in Induction/L&D, Stories, Trisomy 13 (Patau syndrome)

So many questions remain. Why do I feel like I’m in someone else’s life? Why don’t I recognize myself anymore? What can I do to help myself get better? By Malky It was a storybook pregnancy: perfect timing, smooth pregnancy, I was feeling great, and I’d gained minimal weight. Then we went in for the second trimester ultrasound at 22 weeks and nothing was perfect anymore. Trisomy 13. No chance of survival. Possible dangers to me if I carry the pregnancy to term. The doctor’s advice was “Stop the pregnancy as soon as possible.” Just like that, everything changed. No warning. Six days later it was over. The baby was […]

HRHS - Letting Poppy Go - a hypoplastic right heart syndrome diagnosis

Letting Poppy Go

Posted on Posted in Congenital Heart Defects, D&E, Diagnoses, Hypoplastic Right Heart Syndrome, Stories

After days of crying, sleepless nights, and considering quality of life/life expectancy issues, we decided to let our baby boy with HRHS go. By Catt We found out we were having a baby boy late last year. Since I was 38 and wanted another child close in age to our first, this was the blessing we were praying for. We nicknamed the baby “Poppy.” Given my age, we went through all the testing: we did the MaterniT® 21, a nuchal translucency screening, and an amniocentesis. Everything came back normal. Then came time for our 20-week anatomy scan. Like my daughter, my son loved being on his tummy. Because […]

Trisomy 18 diagnosis - D&E termination

My Angel Amelia

Posted on Posted in D&E, Stories, Trisomy 18 (Edward's syndrome)

I wasn’t able to kiss her and tell her I loved her. I left empty handed with a broken heart. By Nicole Prior to the heartbreak From the moment I got pregnant my excitement and joy quickly faded and were replaced with fear. I thought this was normal because I was a first time mom. I feared the worst. When I called the doctor to make my initial appointment I got annoyed when they told me they would not see me until 9 weeks. Then I got furious when they said they would not give me an ultrasound until 20 weeks. I got so angry that I complained and […]

The Right Decision for Our Family - Termination for T21

The Right Decision for Our Family

Posted on Posted in D&E, Stories, Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome)

…to spare everyone a future with lots of pain, suffering, burden and resentment, I made a choice I never thought I would make… By Lauren On October 22nd we found out we were pregnant. I was so excited, but also so nervous about  having a newborn again. Our routine as a family of four was getting “easy” – both my kids slept through the night, they only took one nap and I knew what to expect of their personalities. Nevertheless, I wanted one more and we were lucky to get pregnant on our second month trying. I already had one girl and one boy and this […]

Grief and beauty after termination for hydrops and cystic hygroma

The Birds Are Still Singing

Posted on Posted in Cystic Hygroma, Fetal Hydrops, Stories

“I asked for those flowers because I wanted a reminder of your life, and your birth that was also your death but yet, it was a birth.” By Sabrina Fletcher This week I should have been entering the third trimester of my second pregnancy. The trimester of “Oh, when are you due?” and of “Oh wow, you’re having a baby!”… and the trimester of maternity tops and stretchy elastic band pants and round round bellies (and other parts). But you, my baby, are not here with me. The air is chilly and wet as I step outside to throw the compost onto the pile in our […]

Termination for spina bifida and chiari malformation

My Sweet Cami

Posted on Posted in D&E, Neural Tube Defects, Spina Bifida, Stories

“I decided to make her baby book and have a necklace made with her would-be birthstone and the letter ‘C’ “ By Megan December 15th was a great day for my husband and I. We heard our daughter’s heartbeat for the first time and my husband was accepted to the police academy all on the same day. Life couldn’t get any better. Then in February we went in for the 20-week ultrasound. The tech was very cold and barely spoke as she took 70 images of our baby, measuring every inch. We figured this was routine and asked if we could know the gender. She […]

From my side of the picket link - " Anencephaly was the word the doctor handed to me, scribbled on the back of Avery’s freshly printed ultrasound photo. 200% accurate diagnosis is what he stated when I pleaded with him to double check. "

From My Side of the Picket Sign

Posted on Posted in Anencephaly, Neural Tube Defects, Opinion, Stories

I will never succumb to feeling guilty or selfish for the most selfless decision I’ve ever made. By Carissa Waldner I see you day after day holding up the sign that continually haunts me, “Babies killed here.” I watch as your supporters show up on the weekends and stand with you, holding pictures of fetuses, showcasing the number of days and hours it takes for a human heart to start beating. Your eyes are cold and judgmental. They pierce through me as I drive by. I avert mine day after day, knowing how you’d feel if you knew my story. Every morning I drive past […]

Mariana - Terminating after hydrops, cystic hygroma, and T21 diagnosis (Down Syndrome)

Mariana

Posted on Posted in Fetal Hydrops, Induction/L&D, Stories, Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome)

It was almost like she came out in her bubble, protected from the outside world. By Andrea My husband and I were excited when we found out that I was pregnant. We have a three-year-old daughter and this baby would have been born around the same time our daughter started kindergarten. Everything happened as planned; it was a very expected pregnancy. The first ultrasound was at 12 weeks. I wasn’t very concerned. It was probably because we didn’t have any problems during our first pregnancy and our daughter was born healthy. Even though my husband really wanted to be there, he couldn’t make it for […]

Trisomy 18 - At 23 weeks pregnant, we said goodbye to Ava.

The Hardest and Easiest Decision

Posted on Posted in Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, Stories, Trisomy 18 (Edward's syndrome)

I felt that if I carried her to term it would be for my benefit, not hers. By Ava’s Mom Today my mom called me about my cousin and his wife who are expecting their first baby. We are very happy for them. Their baby is breech, so they’ve  scheduled a c-section which will take place on my second child’s due date. It hit me that I should be planning a first birthday party. It also hit me that for my cousin’s wife, the worst thing happening is she can’t have the vaginal birth she wanted. I have had three children vaginally, but only two […]

Skeletal dysplasia - I decided that the only thing worse than ending the pregnancy would be to continue it. I felt his kicks and I didn’t want to say goodbye. I loved him. I wanted desperately to keep him safe and warm inside me. It just wasn’t possible. I’ve now accepted that.

Acceptance

Posted on Posted in Religious Perspectives, Skeletal Dysplasia, Stories

  Looking back now, I realize how naïve I was. by T.T. In a week, we will be marking one year since we said goodbye, and I wanted to reflect upon it all. It took nearly nine months for me to even start to come to terms with what happened to our family in the last year, and the decisions we made. It led to a new phase of tears, but it felt somewhat different than in the early days. For a long time, I struggled to even allow myself to grieve the loss of our sweet baby, Daniel, because of the massive guilt I […]