Q&A

Q&A: Do I really have to introduce myself?

don't be shy

We need you to introduce yourself in the private support group. Here is why and how.

Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us.

QUESTION

I joined the EWP private support group on Facebook but I don’t feel comfortable introducing myself. I’m a very private person and there are a lot of people in that group. Do I really have to introduce myself? What will happen if I don’t?

ANSWER

Yes, you really do need to introduce yourself in order to maintain access to the private support group. We understand it may be a bit of a hurdle for some new members but it is an important membership requirement. We are very upfront about that in our group rules. In fact, this is our number one rule. Members make personal and vulnerable posts within the group. They have a right to understand whom they are sharing with. This is why we don’t allow silent lurking.

Introducing yourself is also worthwhile because it will help you to connect with other loss parents. When you read other new members’ intros, note the warm welcome and support they receive from our group. You deserve a warm welcome, too. The whole point of our support group is to support each other through our similar grief situations. This won’t happen if we refuse to share what brought us to the group and try to get to know each other.

Many new members provide a detailed intro with the full story of their loss experience. While we love it when people share these stories, you’re not obligated to go into a lot of detail. A brief intro including things such as the diagnosis that led to your decision and the date (doesn’t have to be exact) of your pregnancy termination will do. This will be much more appreciated than no intro at all.

We do keep track of whether our newcomers have introduced themselves. The administrator who accepted your friend request and granted you access is checking for your introduction. You’ll be given about a week, and sent a reminder if you don’t introduce yourself. In a group this large, with many new applications coming in each day, chasing down new members who haven’t introduced themselves creates an additional workload for our volunteer admins. It results in our admins messaging you again to request that you provide your intro (as you agreed to do when you checked the box and applied to join the group). If you continue to refuse, our admins will be in the rather uncomfortable position of removing your access to the group.

When you consider that one of our volunteers has responded to your email request to join us, accepted your Facebook friend request, and let you into the group trusting that you’d introduce yourself, it’s a bit of a party foul to not follow through with a simple introduction.

If you feel you simply can’t introduce yourself for whatever reason, we understand. Sometimes new members aren’t quite ready to take this step. Maybe they thought they were ready when they asked to join the group but when faced with the reality of posting about their experience, realized they didn’t feel ready after all. If this is the case, it’s best to voluntarily leave the group and return when you are ready to introduce yourself.

And that’s okay. No one will be mad at you. If you decide to leave (or be removed from) the group instead of introducing yourself, know that we will welcome you back at a later time when you’re actually ready to participate in our grief support community.

We will be here!

 

Photo by Baptista Ime James on Unsplash