Practical Information

Q & A: How can I avoid Pro-Life OBs?

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avoid anti-choice zealots

QUESTION: Going into a subsequent pregnancy after termination for fetal anomaly, I find I’m really concerned about the politics of my health care providers. How can I tell if an obstetrician (OB), maternal-fetal medicine (MFM) specialist or other health care provider is a “pro-life” anti-choice zealot who won’t support my decisions about my body, my baby and my family? ANSWER: This is a great question and an important one. I actually had (unbeknownst to me at the time) a pro-life MFM. He deliberately delayed telling me my amnio results in an attempt to push me past my state’s abortion deadline. Fortunately, my regular (pro-choice) OB stepped […]

Opinion

Q & A: Is this an appropriate question?

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Just look at these bees, minding their own beeswax. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I appreciate the honesty of Kate C. I just read a piece of her writings from 2015. I’m wondering if mothers who choose abortion for a wanted pregnancy ever request testing on their baby’s bodies to confirm the diagnoses doctors give during pregnancy? And maybe why Kate C didn’t. Her article invited questions, so I’m hoping this is still appropriate. Thank you. Cheryl T.   ANSWER Hi Cheryl T. Occasionally, parents do request testing following an abortion for medical reasons. However, asking Kate C. why she […]

Opinion

Q&A: Who The Hell Are You?

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Who the hell are you?

Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION Who The Hell Are You To Tell People Its Ok To End Life. You Are Not The LIVING GOD! and if you were to read the Bible You Would Know That. How Does Anyone Know If That Baby Was Born and Was A Miracle Baby??? Stop Trying To Out Do What God Has For Us… Doctors Don’t Always Know What Is Good For Us, Now Do They???? Pray as God Does Answer Our Prayers…He Always Has A Plan For US…. ANSWER That’s a complicated question so I’m going to break it down and answer […]

Omphalocele

Q&A: Would it have made me a better person?

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Expecting Adam will not make you a better person

What if I had continued the pregnancy? Would my living children grow to become stronger, gentler people? Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I terminated my pregnancy following a poor prenatal diagnosis of omphalocele. Recently, I read a memoir called Expecting Adam by Marsha Beck, the mother of a child with Down syndrome who learned of his condition prenatally and chose to continue her pregnancy. It’s making me wonder if a better person would make a different choice than I did. After reading it, I’ve started to second-guess my decision. What if we’d been more willing to change our priorities? If we’d readjusted our […]

Q&A

Q&A: What are all those acronyms?

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acronyms

Our list of common abbreviations or acronyms should clear up any confusion about the shorthand we use in our private support group Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I’m new to the private support group. While I love reading and relating to everyone’s stories and situations here, there are so many new acronyms, abbreviations, and shorthand that sometimes I get confused. I really want to understand everything. Is there a list of these I can use for reference when I come across an acronym I’ve never seen before? ANSWER We really do use a lot of abbreviations. Many of these may be familiar from […]

D&E

Q&A: Why Not Just Scan for Defects Earlier?

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12-week scan

Some parents have enough information to make a decision at 12 weeks or earlier, but many are still being told everything is “fine” at that point. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION Why have an abortion so late? Why not just scan for defects earlier? A 12-week scan can pick up most issues. I had a scan at 12 weeks and discovered our baby had a giant omphalecele (all his internal organs were in a sack on the outside of his body). We were told his lungs and heart would not develop properly and he had a 1 in 10,000 chance of […]

Artistic Expressions

Q&A: What Songs Touch You?

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Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us.  QUESTION What songs touch you in relation to your experience of ending a wanted pregnancy. Please share the artist, song title, a link to a YouTube video and if you like, a few words about how the song connects to your experience/grief/loss or healing. ANSWERS Happy Birthday by Piper and Flipsyde. Flipsyde – Happy Birthday (We The People) Pearl Jam’s Black was the first song that really got to me. I remember sitting in the Target parking lot crying when this came on the radio. “Now my bitter hands cradle broken glass of what was everything. All […]

Q&A

Q&A How Are You Getting Through Mother’s Day?

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Mother's Day

I know I am a mother even though my son is not with me. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION We asked our support group members to share their answers to these questions: How will you deal with Mother’s Day this year? Are you making any special plans? Do you have any Mother’s Day traditions? Will you create an activity or add a new tradition to honor the baby you lost? How will you let your family and friends know what you need this Mother’s Day? ANSWERS I focus on my mom on Mother’s Day. I haven’t ever thought my […]

Q&A

Q&A: How Did Legal Restrictions Affect Your Experience?

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legal restrictions on abortion

I feel so much anger and sadness—a rage inside me—when I read of these difficult experiences. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION Were there legal and insurance restrictions on pregnancy termination that affected your procedure or made it harder to obtain or afford? If so, which restrictions and how did they affect your experience? Please include your state, province or geographic region. All answers were provided by members of Ending a Wanted Pregnancy’s private grief support group. Note: To find out more about abortion restrictions where you live, check out NARAL’s interactive map detailing abortion restrictions state-by-state. ANSWERS Florida—No one would touch me with […]

Articles

Q&A: How Did You Deal with Baby’s Remains?

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remains

I think that it’s a common challenge, accepting crisis-mode decisions once the crisis is resolved and all the other nuanced feelings seep back into our awareness. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION We asked our support group members to share their answers to these questions: How did you handle your baby’s remains? Is there anything you wish you had known earlier, or wish could have been done differently? There are no “wrong” answers to this question. Note: This may be a sensitive or “triggering” topic for some, especially the newly bereaved. For those who wonder, hospitals do deal with remains in […]