We named her Irish, meaning “luck.”

By A.F.

My husband and I were happy to learn that we were expecting another baby. Our little boy was already two, so our kids would be two and a half years apart just as we’d planned.

When I was 18 weeks pregnant I took the AFP test. The results came back in two days and they were abnormal, indicating a possible neural tube defect. I really didn’t believe it, so I had the test done again. We got the results back in 2 days that it was abnormal. I didn’t believe it so they redid the test. The results were the same.

A week later I had a level-two ultrasound that showed our baby was a girl, and she had spina bifida and hydrocephalus.

Our nightmare had begun. I had to make a decision. I was 19 weeks pregnant and had until 24 weeks gestation to decide what to do. Of course I waited until the deadline before decidnig to give our little baby back to Heaven. We named her Irish, meaning “luck.”

I’ve had a hard time dealing with the heartbreak, and often wonder if I did the right thing. At least I have my toddler to boost my spirits.