By Amanda Shoemake Many couples, especially the women, who terminate their pregnancy due to medical reasons have felt scared and nervous about sharing their loss. Should I say it was a miscarriage? Should I just say that I lost the baby? Or should I tell everyone what really happened? My husband and I are one of those couples, and I am one of those women, and the moment I left the hospital after my surgical abortion, I thought to myself, “What do I tell people?” It had been very well known on mine and my husband’s Facebook pages that we were expecting. My husband pretty much […]
Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I’ve ended two pregnancies because of Cystic Fibrosis. We are still trying to welcome a child into our lives, through IVF. Over the last few years I have written a lot. Now I feel I want to reach out more with my personal writing, maybe through a book, a blog or a web site. Should I use my own name or a pseudonym? I don’t want to hide, but I don’t want the subject to be the decision we made, but the grief that we had to face because of it. That’s how I want to reach out to people. […]
By H. B. I found this site through a link on a forum, in a discussion on the reasons for ending a pregnancy late-term. I read through many of the stories here, and commend the women for having the strength to share their experiences with others forced into making painful decisions. I am the mother of three, and my middle child has Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome). I love and cherish her. She is beautiful and high functioning. But I cannot say what my decision might have been had I had a prenatal diagnosis. Quite likely I would not have continued the pregnancy. While she is […]
By Emily I had tried for four years to get pregnant, and had one previous miscarriage. When I found out I was pregnant with twins, I was happy but nervous. I tried to reassure myself all the time that everything would be OK as long as I took care of myself. When I met the three-month mark I allowed myself to finally feel content. My contentment evaporated the very next day when I learned that my husband was a carrier of the cystic fibrosis gene. This meant there was a 25 percent chance that each of my twins would have this fatal disease. I was so nervous about […]
By A.E. I have always heard your life can change on a dime, but I really never believed it until now. My husband and I were excited to see how our baby was growing and we contemplated finding out the sex. I was 22 weeks along. The ultrasound technician asked how my pregnancy was and I said fine, she then began the ultrasound. Her next question sent me into a blind panic. “Do you have a doctor appointment today?” She fell silent and stayed that way through rest of the exam. When it was over all she said was, “A doctor would be in shortly.” I looked at my husband. “Something is wrong.” “Everything […]
I am what they call a translocation carrier. Although I am fine and our toddler daughter is fine, we had a 50/50 chance of having a baby with major chromosomal problems in any pregnancy.
I felt I was standing on some imaginary line with one foot in two very different worlds. I felt parents who terminated focused on the bad to get through, and parents who had a living child with a disability or fatal illness focused on the good to get through.
By Emme Bea In the Spring of 2005 I was 36 years old and found myself at a crossroads. The company for which I worked for over 13 years was closing and offered me a large severance package. I found myself with no job for the first time in 20 years. I planned to enjoy the summer, maybe do some traveling, and take my time in looking for another job. At the time, my husband G and I had been very casually trying to get pregnant for two years. I had polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and had gone off birth control pills with the hope […]