D&E

We Would Have Named Her Samantha

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By V. J. When I was pregnant with my second child everything seemed to be going great. I went to my monthly prenatal check ups, had my first ultrasound, had blood work done and took all of the usual prenatal care precautions. If it was a girl, we were going to name her Samantha. Then I got a call about the results of my sequential screen. It put our chance of the baby having Down syndrome at 1 out of 26, and Spina Bifida at 1 out of 4. We saw a genetic counselor and she advised us to have an amniocentesis test, and get another ultrasound at […]

D&E

This is Always Fatal

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By A. H. When I found out I was pregnant on April 6, 2007, my fiance and I were very happy. This would be the first child for both of us. We had decided right away that if it was a boy we’d name him Dominic Wayne, and if it was a girl we would name her Kaylee Lynn. “Lynn” was after my husband’s mother, who had passed away a few years earlier. In early may I had an ultrasound. The technician said, “You are definitely pregnant” which made me feel better because I still didn’t quite believe it at that point. The little bubble on the screen looked like a jellybean to […]

D&E

Nothing Good Comes Easy

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By Timothy’s Mother My husband and I got married in March 2002 and were very excited, and eager to begin our family. To my surprise I found out I was pregnant only a few months later. All my life I had dreamed of that moment. Having a baby was my whole reason for everything I had ever done up to that point in time. All my baby dolls from my childhood were still in excellent condition, evidence of the superb care I had shown them. I had worked with children as a mother’s helper, babysitter, camp counselor, daycare teacher, and classroom teacher. It was finally […]

Articles

When We Create Meaning

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By Tova Gold About six weeks after the girls died, I thought I would die from my grief. The entire experience of pregnancy and loss felt like a bad dream that I’d imagined. It’s because I never met them. I had no concrete evidence they’d existed. I chose to be “put under” for the delivery, because I was scared, and when I woke up they were gone, no longer in my body. It wasn’t until after that I realized how much I yearned to know what they’d looked like. How I ached for the opportunity to hold my two daughters at the same time, looking […]

D&E

Christopher’s Gift

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By Emme Bea In the Spring of 2005 I was 36 years old and found myself at a crossroads. The company for which I worked for over 13 years was closing and offered me a large severance package. I found myself with no job for the first time in 20 years. I planned to enjoy the summer, maybe do some traveling, and take my time in looking for another job. At the time, my husband G and I had been very casually trying to get pregnant for two years. I had polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and had gone off birth control pills with the hope […]

D&E

My Interrupted Pregnancies

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 By Julie In my gut, I knew something wasn’t right with my second pregnancy. The pregnancy test had a faint line and I didn’t have the severe morning sickness that I had previously. At 6 weeks, 2 days gestation I had an ultrasound and saw the heartbeat, but they wanted to see me two weeks later. When I returned, there was no heartbeat, and the baby measured only 6 weeks, 3 days—I had miscarried. Many of my friends and family had been through a miscarriage, and while it was emotionally hard, I figured that it was somewhat par for the course. Once my cycle came back, we decided to try […]