D&E

Hit by an Ice Storm

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By Katie When I was around 14 weeks pregnant with my second child, I started having severe pains. We went to the emergency room and they kept me there for nine hours. They did an ultrasound, and the technician found the umbilical cord had two blood vessels instead of the normal three, and there were massive cysts on his tiny kidneys.They told me not to worry too much, and to just set up an appointment with a perinatologist and schedule another ultrasound. Our appointment fell on the day after Christmas. We talked to a genetics counselor for about 30 minutes before the ultrasound. She said that since […]

D&E

Our Angel’s Story

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By B.T. After two years of trying, and beginning to doubt we’d ever be parents, we were finally expecting. We’d never been happier. We told the world we were pregnant, no fear involved. We recorded video of our first ultrasound and showed everyone the rapid beat of a tiny heart that meant the beginnings of our family. At 13 weeks, 6 days the next ultrasound was scheduled. My husband Brian was at work, but I didn’t mind going alone. I felt good, and certain that everything was going to be OK. During the ultrasound, the technician showed me that the heartbeat was slightly slower than at my last appointment. She […]

D&E

We Would Have Named Her Samantha

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By V. J. When I was pregnant with my second child everything seemed to be going great. I went to my monthly prenatal check ups, had my first ultrasound, had blood work done and took all of the usual prenatal care precautions. If it was a girl, we were going to name her Samantha. Then I got a call about the results of my sequential screen. It put our chance of the baby having Down syndrome at 1 out of 26, and Spina Bifida at 1 out of 4. We saw a genetic counselor and she advised us to have an amniocentesis test, and get another ultrasound at […]

D&E

This is Always Fatal

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By A. H. When I found out I was pregnant on April 6, 2007, my fiance and I were very happy. This would be the first child for both of us. We had decided right away that if it was a boy we’d name him Dominic Wayne, and if it was a girl we would name her Kaylee Lynn. “Lynn” was after my husband’s mother, who had passed away a few years earlier. In early may I had an ultrasound. The technician said, “You are definitely pregnant” which made me feel better because I still didn’t quite believe it at that point. The little bubble on the screen looked like a jellybean to […]

D&E

Nothing Good Comes Easy

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By Timothy’s Mother My husband and I got married in March 2002 and were very excited, and eager to begin our family. To my surprise I found out I was pregnant only a few months later. All my life I had dreamed of that moment. Having a baby was my whole reason for everything I had ever done up to that point in time. All my baby dolls from my childhood were still in excellent condition, evidence of the superb care I had shown them. I had worked with children as a mother’s helper, babysitter, camp counselor, daycare teacher, and classroom teacher. It was finally […]

Articles

When We Create Meaning

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By Tova Gold About six weeks after the girls died, I thought I would die from my grief. The entire experience of pregnancy and loss felt like a bad dream that I’d imagined. It’s because I never met them. I had no concrete evidence they’d existed. I chose to be “put under” for the delivery, because I was scared, and when I woke up they were gone, no longer in my body. It wasn’t until after that I realized how much I yearned to know what they’d looked like. How I ached for the opportunity to hold my two daughters at the same time, looking […]

D&E

Christopher’s Gift

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By Emme Bea In the Spring of 2005 I was 36 years old and found myself at a crossroads. The company for which I worked for over 13 years was closing and offered me a large severance package. I found myself with no job for the first time in 20 years. I planned to enjoy the summer, maybe do some traveling, and take my time in looking for another job. At the time, my husband G and I had been very casually trying to get pregnant for two years. I had polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) and had gone off birth control pills with the hope […]

D&E

My Interrupted Pregnancies

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By Julie In my gut, I knew something wasn’t right with my second pregnancy. The pregnancy test had a faint line and I didn’t have the severe morning sickness that I had previously. At 6 weeks, 2 days gestation I had an ultrasound and saw the heartbeat, but they wanted to see me two weeks later. When I returned, there was no heartbeat, and the baby measured only 6 weeks, 3 days—I had miscarried. Many of my friends and family had been through a miscarriage, and while it was emotionally hard, I figured that it was somewhat par for the course. Once my cycle came back, we decided to try […]