by T.T. In a week, we will be marking one year since we said goodbye, and I wanted to reflect upon it all. It took nearly nine months for me to even start to come to terms with what happened to our family in the last year, and the decisions we made. It led to a new phase of tears, but it felt somewhat different than in the early days. For a long time, I struggled to even allow myself to grieve the loss of our sweet baby, Daniel, because of the massive guilt I felt. Though raised Catholic, I’m totally liberal in ways that […]
by S.A. The day you realise your world as you know it has changed forever is a startling one. One that hits you like a ton of bricks. One when you question how the rest of the world is able to keep moving and functioning, oblivious to your the pain and suffering. That fateful day for me was the 10th November 2016. I received the news that my expectant child, a precious baby boy, had an open spina bifida and Arnold Chari Malformation Type 2. Even as those words roll out my mouth now, I still cannot believe that this was and is my reality, […]
By C.J. This is Ethan’s story–my youngest son. It started out much like I thought for a third pregnancy. I have two healthy children, a girl, age five, and a boy, age three. I was sick with morning/all day sickness. When you are that sick and you have been through it twice before, it is hard to be too excited, but my husband and children were over the moon about the new baby. My son kept looking at my stomach and saying “is it getting bigger?” While my daughter began kissing my growing belly and writing “I love you” cards for her new sibling. My […]
By Marna Cathleen Today is the second anniversary of Blue’s EDD (expected due date). Two years ago today me, her father, family and friends gathered to honor her life. This year as I anticipated the day I didn’t know what to expect. To my surprise something unexpected and beautiful happened two days before her day that made March 16th a very beautiful day. I worked at a homeless clinic as medical social worker for the last year, and left in January for a new job. I believe that my experience with Blue and the deep pain of that loss has widened my bandwidth to hold other people’s […]
By Kate C. Originally posted at Makin’ Babies. Shared by permission. Ten months have passed since losing my baby. The anniversary is approaching. My deadline for filing a grievance with my insurance company is closing in. Spring is blooming. Soon, I won’t have to count the seasons with memories of last year’s useless gestational milestones. Soon, I will get a fresh start. I no longer feel broken. Wounded, healing, but not broken. I feel exactly where I should be with the infant loss piece of my tragedy. I am full of sadness and acceptance for my dead baby, the little handful of ashes on my […]
I love The Old Testament. I do! I love it now for all the reasons I hated it as a sensitive, compassionate little girl. Life is so hard, people are so bad, and God is cruel, and just a little bit nuts. It’s crazy, and I love it.
I hope to treat this topic in two pieces: what I think of religion and Laurel, and the very different and more academic topic of my interpretation of religion with respect to abortion.
By Wendy L. Lyon My pastor directed me to write down everything I felt about this whole anguishing experience – it became my “Letter to God.” Writing it was no picnic. I’d never done anything like this before. We modern day Protestants are used to formal, in-church, prepared confessions of faith. Did I really want to do this? Did I need this? What did I feel? How could I accept responsibility for letting my baby die? But then I though, who but God could best understand my son’s death? Now that our baby was gone what did I have to lose? No wait! Wasn’t there […]
By A Catholic Mother Our Catholic priest supported our choice to end our pregnancy. We’ve known this priest for years and have been through most of the sacraments with him. When we had pretty much made our decision, we asked him to come to our home so we could talk it over. My husband and I trust him and value his point of view. We weren’t asking for his blessing, but wanted to know where we would stand with God in the aftermath of our choice. At 17 weeks gestation our baby had been diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS), a major heart defect […]
By Rev. Karen W. Burton Just lean on God … The words were whispered in my ear. My thoughts crystallized in the middle of that agonizing day. I thought, “How can I lean on someone I can’t find?” I figured it couldn’t get any worse. Our unborn son was diagnosed with a hypoplastic right ventricle at 28 weeks gestation. Joseph Allen “Joey” Burton was born on May 24, 1993 and died nine days and two heart surgeries later on June 2, 1993. I held him in my arms on that last day after we requested his life support be withdrawn. I held him for the first and […]