Looking back now, I realize how naïve I was. by T.T. In a week, we will be marking one year since we said goodbye, and I wanted to reflect upon it all. It took nearly nine months for me to even start to come to terms with what happened to our family in the last year, and the decisions we made. It led to a new phase of tears, but it felt somewhat different than in the early days. For a long time, I struggled to even allow myself to grieve the loss of our sweet baby, Daniel, because of the massive guilt I […]
My husband bought a beautiful bonsai tree as a memento to remember Malachi by and to keep amongst us as a family. I take care of it as I would have taken care of him. by S.A. The day you realise your world as you know it has changed forever is a startling one. One that hits you like a ton of bricks. One when you question how the rest of the world is able to keep moving and functioning, oblivious to your the pain and suffering. That fateful day for me was the 10th November 2016. I received the news that my expectant child, […]
God met me where I was. While He didn’t give me the miracle I had hoped for, the one I had prayed for, miracles came in other ways, through my friends, family, and the nurses and doctors taking care of me. By C.J. This is Ethan’s story–my youngest son. It started out much like I thought for a third pregnancy. I have two healthy children, a girl, age five, and a boy, age three. I was sick with morning/all day sickness. When you are that sick and you have been through it twice before, it is hard to be too excited, but my husband and […]
It felt to me like a message from my Stella. By A.R. Our angel Stella Marie was diagnosed with Trisomy 18. This is the story of my heartbreaking journey as I fought against my own faith. I always knew I wanted to get married, have a big family, be able to stay home with my children and then go back to work when they were in school. That was my dream. And although my life took many detours, last October I thought, boy my dreams are all coming true, I am so blessed. I was married to a wonderful man, I had three children ages […]
By Marna Cathleen Today is the second anniversary of Blue’s EDD (expected due date). Two years ago today me, her father, family and friends gathered to honor her life. This year as I anticipated the day I didn’t know what to expect. To my surprise something unexpected and beautiful happened two days before her day that made March 16th a very beautiful day. I worked at a homeless clinic as medical social worker for the last year, and left in January for a new job. I believe that my experience with Blue and the deep pain of that loss has widened my bandwidth to hold other people’s […]
By Kate C. Originally posted at Makin’ Babies. Shared by permission. Ten months have passed since losing my baby. The anniversary is approaching. My deadline for filing a grievance with my insurance company is closing in. Spring is blooming. Soon, I won’t have to count the seasons with memories of last year’s useless gestational milestones. Soon, I will get a fresh start. I no longer feel broken. Wounded, healing, but not broken. I feel exactly where I should be with the infant loss piece of my tragedy. I am full of sadness and acceptance for my dead baby, the little handful of ashes on my […]
I love The Old Testament. I do! I love it now for all the reasons I hated it as a sensitive, compassionate little girl. Life is so hard, people are so bad, and God is cruel, and just a little bit nuts. It’s crazy, and I love it.
I hope to treat this topic in two pieces: what I think of religion and Laurel, and the very different and more academic topic of my interpretation of religion with respect to abortion.
By Wendy L. Lyon My pastor directed me to write down everything I felt about this whole anguishing experience – it became my “Letter to God.” Writing it was no picnic. I’d never done anything like this before. We modern day Protestants are used to formal, in-church, prepared confessions of faith. Did I really want to do this? Did I need this? What did I feel? How could I accept responsibility for letting my baby die? But then I though, who but God could best understand my son’s death? Now that our baby was gone what did I have to lose? No wait! Wasn’t there […]
By A Catholic Mother Our Catholic priest supported our choice to end our pregnancy. We’ve known this priest for years and have been through most of the sacraments with him. When we had pretty much made our decision, we asked him to come to our home so we could talk it over. My husband and I trust him and value his point of view. We weren’t asking for his blessing, but wanted to know where we would stand with God in the aftermath of our choice. At 17 weeks gestation our baby had been diagnosed with Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS), a major heart defect […]