My Angel Amelia

Trisomy 18 diagnosis - D&E termination

I wasn’t able to kiss her and tell her I loved her. I left empty handed with a broken heart. By Nicole Prior to the heartbreak From the moment I got pregnant my excitement and joy quickly faded and were replaced with fear. I thought this was normal because I was a first time mom. I feared the worst. When I called the doctor to make my initial appointment I got annoyed when they told me they would not see me until 9 weeks. Then I got furious when they said they would not give me an ultrasound until 20 weeks. I got so angry that I complained and […]

The Hardest and Easiest Decision

Trisomy 18 - At 23 weeks pregnant, we said goodbye to Ava.

I felt that if I carried her to term it would be for my benefit, not hers. By Ava’s Mom Today my mom called me about my cousin and his wife who are expecting their first baby. We are very happy for them. Their baby is breech, so they’ve scheduled a c-section which will take place on my second child’s due date. It hit me that I should be planning a first birthday party. It also hit me that for my cousin’s wife, the worst thing happening is she can’t have the vaginal birth she wanted. I have had three children vaginally, but only two […]

A Heartbreaking Journey

Trisomy 18 - It felt to me like a message from my Stella.

It felt to me like a message from my Stella. By A.R. Our angel Stella Marie was diagnosed with Trisomy 18. This is the story of my heartbreaking journey as I fought against my own faith. I always knew I wanted to get married, have a big family, be able to stay home with my children and then go back to work when they were in school. That was my dream. And although my life took many detours, last October I thought, boy my dreams are all coming true, I am so blessed. I was married to a wonderful man, I had three children ages […]

Will You Let Her Go?

Trisomy 18 - On Tuesday, December 22, the doctor called to confirm that Angela had Trisomy 18 in every cell in her body, or full Trisomy 18.

On Tuesday, December 22, the doctor called to confirm that Angela had Trisomy 18 in every cell in her body, or full Trisomy 18. By Vanessa Spiritoso When I was pregnant with baby number three, I wasn’t excited but I wasn’t unhappy. My mind was preoccupied with running after my two boys who are under the age of five. I really didn’t have time to focus on baby number three. Some days I felt pregnant, but most days I did not. I remember telling my family that I knew I was pregnant but it didn’t feel like it. I even remember talking to my baby […]

Survival & Strengthening

By Anne Mellinger-Birdsong Survived is used in the sense of being stronger for having accomplished a major challenge. I have survived The death of my mother Before I was married Before I had children. I have survived The loss of 3 babies Much wanted and much loved, And that has changed me more Than anything else that ever happened. I have survived The questions and harangues From people who didn’t understand Or flat out disagreed With our decision to induce labor When we found out our baby had Down syndrome (Trisomy 21). Who didn’t know all the medical problems that go with Down syndrome Who […]

Stepping Out: Transforming Pain into Loving Action

By Marna Cathleen Today is the second anniversary of Blue’s EDD (expected due date). Two years ago today me, her father, family and friends gathered to honor her life. This year as I anticipated the day I didn’t know what to expect. To my surprise something unexpected and beautiful happened two days before her day that made March 16th a very beautiful day. I worked at a homeless clinic as medical social worker for the last year, and left in January for a new job. I believe that my experience with Blue and the deep pain of that loss has widened my bandwidth to hold other people’s […]

A Letter of Support

By H. B. I found this site through a link on a forum, in a discussion on the reasons for ending a pregnancy late-term. I read through many of the stories here, and commend the women for having the strength to share their experiences with others forced into making painful decisions. I am the mother of three, and my middle child has Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome). I love and cherish her. She is beautiful and high functioning. But I cannot say what my decision might have been had I had a prenatal diagnosis. Quite likely I would not have continued the pregnancy. While she is […]

Oh, Courtney

By Gina Years ago I traveled to Kansas to obtain an abortion. Even now, after all this time, I try to think of a euphemism for it. I interrupted the pregnancy. I made a heart-wrenching decision. Could it really be that I’d actually had a late-term abortion? Yes, that is exactly what I had to do. It took me a long time to be OK with that word, but I finally am now. It was what it was, and it is what it is, and there should be no shame or guilt in that. At the time, I already had a daughter who nearly three years old, and was thrilled to be expecting […]

In the Stillness of the Night

By J.M. My second husband and I had been trying for another baby for nearly eight years, including three rounds of IVF. Our marriage had reached the breaking point. Male Infertility, we were told. Three weeks before Christmas, Scott announced that we would separate, effective immediately. Within days, our house was put up for sale I struggled to come to terms with the finality of losing the love of my life and starting again on my own. The following few weeks were ghastly as I tried to cope with my world falling apart. On Boxing Day Scott asked me to move out of the house as anger and […]

Light at the End of the Tunnel

Alexia and Landon’s Mother I lost my daughter Alexia to Trisomy 18. I was 27 weeks pregnant and it was the hardest thing I have ever been through in my life. I really thought I would never heal from this loss and in some aspects I haven’t. I still grieve for her. I still long to have seen her little face and held her in my arms, but God had another plan for me. God planned for me to have my son Landon James who I became pregnant with exactly six weeks after I lost Alexia. My pregnancy with him so soon after my loss was […]