Induction/L&D

Survival & Strengthening

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By Anne Mellinger-Birdsong Survived is used in the sense of being stronger for having accomplished a major challenge. I have survived The death of my mother Before I was married Before I had children. I have survived The loss of 3 babies Much wanted and much loved, And that has changed me more Than anything else that ever happened. I have survived The questions and harangues From people who didn’t understand Or flat out disagreed With our decision to induce labor When we found out our baby had Down syndrome (Trisomy 21). Who didn’t know all the medical problems that go with Down syndrome Who […]

Omphalocele

Q&A: Would it have made me a better person?

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Expecting Adam will not make you a better person

What if I had continued the pregnancy? Would my living children grow to become stronger, gentler people? Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I terminated my pregnancy following a poor prenatal diagnosis of omphalocele. Recently, I read a memoir called Expecting Adam by Marsha Beck, the mother of a child with Down syndrome who learned of his condition prenatally and chose to continue her pregnancy. It’s making me wonder if a better person would make a different choice than I did. After reading it, I’ve started to second-guess my decision. What if we’d been more willing to change our priorities? If we’d readjusted our […]

D&E

The Worst Day of My Life

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By M.V. I am 37 years old and have a healthy 22 month old boy at home. My first pregnancy was a breeze, and I assumed my second one would be as well. At my 12-week ultrasound—which was the day before my birthday— my toddler got fussy so I told my husband to go home with him and that I’d call him after going over the results with my doctor. My doctor walked in and said she had not liked what she saw on the ultrasound, including the absence of nasal bones and a high nuchal fold of 5.2, both indicators of Down syndrome. I was shocked. […]

Q&A

Q&A: How Do I Comfort Them?

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monochorionic twins

There are no magic words that will resolve this pain for them. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I’m not sure if you can help me but, at this stage, I’m open to anything. My brother and his girlfriend, who is 40, were expecting twins. After discovering that they were monochorionic twins, Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) was diagnosed. Based on a decision to aggressively treat the TTTS, they were advised to undergo prenatal screening before embarking on any treatment program. Today, the FISH results of their CVS have indicated Trisomy 21 in 80% of the cells resulting in a diagnosis of […]

Q&A

Q&A: Will I Ever Recover from the Guilt?

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guilt

Avoid those who seek to validate their own choices by pressuring you to do the same—regardless of what choice they’ve made. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I just had an amnio. I am only 16 weeks along. They had a tough time seeing a lot with the level 2 ultrasound but did say the baby is missing the third bones on the pinky fingers, which is a soft marker for Down syndrome. We chose to have the amnio so we could terminate the pregnancy if there was a problem. Now we’re facing the very real possibility of having to make a very tough […]

Opinion

We All Walk Our Own Paths

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By T.W. I am not writing to criticize. I feel so deeply for these families and the choices they made. I cry reading these stories they’ve written because I went through similarly agonizing decisions with my own pregnancy at age 30. My son, who is now age two, has Down syndrome. I would never say or do anything to add to anyone’s pain. I experienced the same feelings these women and families went through with a poor prenatal diagnosis. I had decided to carry my pregnancy to term and only later, when I was already several months pregnant, I learned that my son had a hole in his heart and […]

Opinion

Mother’s Advice

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By Carrie U. Terminating a pregnancy after a diagnosis of Down syndrome seems to come and go as a debate topic. At times this choice is unfairly characterized as “the wrong one.” As one who is in a position to know, I am here to offer my own perspective on this topic. I am a 38-year-old mother of three beautiful children. I have been incredibly blessed; all were born healthy and, knock on wood, will continue to lead happy lives even when I am no longer around. With each pregnancy, I was very nervous. Yes, nervous about being pregnant in general, but also nervous because I have a sister five years […]

Opinion

A Letter of Support

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By H. B. I found this site through a link on a forum, in a discussion on the reasons for ending a pregnancy late-term. I read through many of the stories here, and commend the women for having the strength to share their experiences with others forced into making painful decisions. I am the mother of three, and my middle child has Trisomy 21 (Down syndrome). I love and cherish her. She is beautiful and high functioning. But I cannot say what my decision might have been had I had a prenatal diagnosis. Quite likely I would not have continued the pregnancy. While she is […]

Stories

Making My Decision

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Anonymous Mom I want to thank everyone who has shared stories here. This is the first and only location I have found that shares stories of good, loving and truly caring people who have made the incredibly hard decision to end a wanted pregnancy. Unlike many women in your stories, I do not have any children and now I probably never will. This pregnancy was our third attempt at in vitro fertilization. The first two times did not work, so you can imagine the excitement when they told me the pregnancy test was positive. However, I was too concerned from the first day to get excited and be happy. I […]

D&E

Our Sweet Baby

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By N.M. Just weeks before my 26th birthday, I found out the wonderful news that I was pregnant. My husband and I had gone through months of infertility treatments to get to this point and we couldn’t have been happier. As new parents-to-be we couldn’t contain our excitement and told all of our friends and family about the baby. My pregnancy was a relatively easy one. I had no morning sickness, no mood changes, or anything negative. I was happy and healthy and falling in love with my child. Due to circumstances surrounding when I had conceived, I had ultrasounds done every four weeks starting […]