Q&A: How Do I Comfort Them?

monochorionic twins

There are no magic words that will resolve this pain for them. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION I’m not sure if you can help me but, at this stage, I’m open to anything. My brother and his girlfriend, who is 40, were expecting twins. After discovering that they were monochorionic twins, Twin-to-Twin Transfusion Syndrome (TTTS) was diagnosed. Based on a decision to aggressively treat the TTTS, they were advised to undergo prenatal screening before embarking on any treatment program. Today, the FISH results of their CVS have indicated Trisomy 21 in 80% of the cells resulting in a diagnosis of […]

“God only gives us what we can handle” and Other Untruths

By Tova Gold On Facebook today a friend posted a comment about how stressed she was. I read through the comments and came upon the obligatory “God only gives us what we can handle” platitude. I came very close to posting a reply but decided I wasn’t in the mood to educate one stranger about the stupidity of that concept at the expense of the general niceness on my friends wall so I decided to come here and vent about it instead … Read the rest of this article at Finding My Muchness, a blog by Tova Gold. Excerpt republished by permission. ©Tova Gold

When We Create Meaning

By Tova Gold About six weeks after the girls died, I thought I would die from my grief. The entire experience of pregnancy and loss felt like a bad dream that I’d imagined. It’s because I never met them. I had no concrete evidence they’d existed. I chose to be “put under” for the delivery, because I was scared, and when I woke up they were gone, no longer in my body. It wasn’t until after that I realized how much I yearned to know what they’d looked like. How I ached for the opportunity to hold my two daughters at the same time, looking […]