Still Relevant

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By MJP We’re the women politicians don’t talk about. Women who were pregnant with wanted and waited for babies, not birth control accidents, not rape, and not “irresponsible.” My story is now 24 years old but still relevant. We always thought we would have three or four children. Baby number one was born in 1985 after an uneventful pregnancy, a healthy boy. In spring of 1988 I had my first miscarriage and was devastated. In 1990 I had a second miscarriage. I was told not to worry, that it was only after a third miscarriage that the doctors would be concerned. A few months later I […]


Rage Over Restrictions

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By H. R. The pregnancy was very normal and everything seemed to be going fine. I had the free-cell DNA test and that came back normal, so didn’t feel the need for any second trimester screenings. I do sometimes regret that I didn’t have the second trimester screenings as they might have let me get this information sooner, and maybe the termination would have been easier physically. But I don’t know that, so I’ve had to let that regret go along with so many other regrets as I work through this grieving process. The 20 week level II anatomy scan at the perinatologist’s took a long […]

Alobar Holoprosencephaly

A Mother’s Testimony Before State Congress

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By Heather P. Dear esteemed members of the NC House Health Committee, my name is Heather P. and I am writing as testimony in opposition to HB 465 being considered tomorrow in your chambers. I kindly ask you to read my story with an open mind before deciding how you will vote on this important issue. HB 465 seeks to both limit and truncate the rights of all North Carolina women while additionally placing one of this state’s most esteemed medical learning institutions at risk of monumental damage to both its reputation and ability to retain its full accreditation. The restrictions being proposed against UNC […]


Q&A: How Did Legal Restrictions Affect Your Experience?

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legal restrictions on abortion

I feel so much anger and sadness—a rage inside me—when I read of these difficult experiences. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION Were there legal and insurance restrictions on pregnancy termination that affected your procedure or made it harder to obtain or afford? If so, which restrictions and how did they affect your experience? Please include your state, province or geographic region. All answers were provided by members of Ending a Wanted Pregnancy’s private grief support group. Note: To find out more about abortion restrictions where you live, check out NARAL’s interactive map detailing abortion restrictions state-by-state. ANSWERS Florida—No one would touch me with […]

Dandy Walker Syndrome

My Third-Trimester Abortion

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By Kate C. This article is based on a talk the author gave to OBs and medical students at her diagnosing hospital. I am here today to tell you about my third trimester abortion. Before I begin, I want to make two things very clear: First, I am here to speak with you because I want to share my experience. I am not afraid to share, and you shouldn’t be afraid to ask questions if you have them. I think people often hold back to protect me, but they needn’t bother. I live with these memories every day. There is no angle from which I haven’t looked […]


Destigmatizing Abortion

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destigmatizing abortion

By Grace O. Let’s talk about destigmatizing abortion. I’ll start by saying that wherever you are at right now with the word abortion, you are Ok and you are welcome here. Discomfort with the word—and the associated politics surrounding it—are not uncommon in this community, especially with our newcomers. But I think it’s time we sat down with an ice cold of pitcher of lemonade and talked it out. First things first: we are here to support you through your pregnancy loss regardless of your politics. We understand that emotionally, terminating a wanted pregnancy for medical reasons is very different from terminating an unwanted pregnancy. We’re probably all […]


Women Who Experience a “Socially Unacceptable Kind of Grief” Find Community Online

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By Tara Culp-Ressler After picking out a baby name and decorating a nursery, the last thing you expect to do is have an abortion. So, when Grace made the painful decision to end her pregnancy at 20 weeks after she learned her unborn son Leo had serious health defects, she thought she was the only woman in the world who had ever gone through that. When she stumbled onto a website filled with stories from other women who had also terminated wanted pregnancies, she couldn’t believe her eyes. “I had never heard of this happening to anybody,” Grace told ThinkProgress. “I read all the stories. It […]


Q&A: How Do You Feel About the Word Abortion?

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the word abortion

Maybe what we need is to say the word out loud more. Maybe that’s part of destigmatizing abortion. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION We asked our web site and support group administrators “How do you feel about the word ‘abortion’? How have your feelings about the word changed in the years since you had yours?” ANSWERS For me even after hearing my doctor say abortion, I still didn’t want to believe it. I was a sucky pro-choice person back then. I thought abortion was reserved for other people, not me, the happily married woman. But I always said I never knew […]


Q&A: How Did You Handle the Financial Burden?

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Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION How did you handle the financial burdens associated with ending your wanted pregnancy? These might include any medical expenses, travel expenses if you had to travel to obtain your procedure, cremation, funeral and related costs, and counseling services or mental health therapy. ANSWERS California—Thankfully, my health insurance covered all of it. I am lucky to live in California. Michigan—My parents helped us. I was a SAHM at the time and we were getting by on my husband’s teacher’s salary. Because he is a state employee, our health insurance wouldn’t touch abortion for any reason. We didn’ […]

Practical Information

Our Compendium of Practical Information

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In addition to the emotional support you need to deal with the realities of ending your wanted pregnancy due to fetal or maternal health problems, you may also need practical information. What are the medical procedures? How do you find an abortion provider? Will your insurance cover this abortion? What are the laws regarding abortion where you live? What is an abortion doula? What do I do when my milk comes in? Procedures Searching “abortion procedures” online may result in an glut of upsetting misinformation designed to frighten or make you feel guilty about abortion. For your peace of mind, we’ve done the searching for […]