Q & A: How can I avoid Pro-Life OBs?

avoid anti-choice zealots

QUESTION: Going into a subsequent pregnancy after termination for fetal anomaly, I find I’m really concerned about the politics of my health care providers. How can I tell if an obstetrician (OB), maternal-fetal medicine (MFM) specialist or other health care provider is a “pro-life” anti-choice zealot who won’t support my decisions about my body, my baby and my family? ANSWER: This is a great question and an important one. I actually had (unbeknownst to me at the time) a pro-life MFM. He deliberately delayed telling me my amnio results in an attempt to push me past my state’s abortion deadline. Fortunately, my regular (pro-choice) OB stepped […]

Q&A: How Did You Handle the Financial Burden?

Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION How did you handle the financial burdens associated with ending your wanted pregnancy? These might include any medical expenses, travel expenses if you had to travel to obtain your procedure, cremation, funeral and related costs, and counseling services or mental health therapy. ANSWERS California—Thankfully, my health insurance covered all of it. I am lucky to live in California. Michigan—My parents helped us. I was a SAHM at the time and we were getting by on my husband’s teacher’s salary. Because he is a state employee, our health insurance wouldn’t touch abortion for any reason. We didn’ […]

Our Compendium of Practical Information

Our compendium of abortion information

Obtaining abortion care in this political climate is unfortunately fraught with hurdles and roadblocks. In addition to the emotional support you need for dealing with the realities of ending your wanted pregnancy due to fetal or maternal health problems, you may also need a lot of practical information. What are the medical procedures involved? How do you find a provider? Will your insurance cover your procedure? What are the reproductive health laws where you live? What are doulas and how can they help me? What do you do when your milk comes in? We put together this compendium to help you find the information you […]

What I Wish I had Known

By Heather I am not ready to talk about my baby yet, and all the things that went wrong, but I am ready for others who have to make that terrifying decision to know what I wish I had known. I was 28 weeks pregnant, much too far along to terminate my pregnancy my home state. I’d never even considered the politics and how they would embed themselves so deeply into my own life. I think it is horrible that when families are told that their baby has a condition that is incompatible with life—that they most likely will die in utero, but if not, live only […]

Q&A: Can I Choose the Termination Procedure I Want?

Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION My unborn child has been diagnosed with severe spina bifida with hydrocephalus at week 19 gestation. My husband and I have decided to terminate the pregnancy. The D&E seems cruel to me. I would like to have early induction and delivery abortion (L&D) but I don’t think they will offer it to me. I think that I would cope and grieve more effectively with this termination method. I want to see my child and say goodbye. Do you have any suggestions?   ANSWER I am very sorry that you are having to go through […]

Q&A: Are My Amnio Results Accurate?

The amnio is between 99.4% and 100% accurate. Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. QUESTION We just received our amnio results and were given the unexpected news that our baby girl is positive with Trisomy 21. I have heard so many stories that others were prenatally diagnosed with a Down syndrome baby, and when they went full-term with the pregnancy their baby was fine. I want to be sure there were no mistakes in the lab. Am I just being paranoid?” ANSWER I’m really sorry that you’ve received a prenatal diagnosis of Trisomy 21. Unfortunately, the happy-ending stories we hear about “wrong” prenatal test results are […]

Q&A: Telling My Toddler

Have a question for Ending a Wanted Pregnancy? Email us. Question We found out at our prenatal ultrasound that our child has chromosomal abnormalities. Because of the poor prognosis for carrying to term and baby’s short life expectancy, my husband and I have decided to terminate the pregnancy. While I overcome with sadness, my real issue is trying to explain ending the pregnancy to my three-year-old daughter. She is an intelligent and charismatic child who is very excited about having a sibling. She talks about her soon to be baby “sister” constantly, kisses and hugs my belly and reassures the baby that she loves her and will be the best big sister ever. […]

Dear Medical Professional

Far too many of the bereaved mothers who arrive at Ending a Wanted Pregnancy report being subjected to prying questions and inconsiderate comments from medical professionals. This maltreatment is not limited to the appointments leading up to a medically indicated abortion; it often extends to follow-up appointments, visits related to subsequent pregnancies, infertility appointment or with just about any doctor’s office visit having to do with reproductive health. Sometimes the insensitivity occurs at appointments having nothing at all to do with reproductive health. Some women even find themselves, years out, feeling cornered at an appointment when asked why her number of pregnancies is different from her […]

Genetic Recurrence Risks

By Helga V. Toriello, Ph.D. While every expectant couple hopes their child will be healthy, approximately 3-4% of couples will have a a child with a serious birth defect or combination of birth defects, called a syndrome, and another 1-3% will have a child with cognitive disabilities. Since prenatal testing is now readily available to parents, many will learn of a serious or life threatening problem during the pregnancy. When a child is born with a genetic condition or one is found prenatally, a referral to a genetics counselor may be made to provide the family with information regarding the diagnosis, prognosis and recurrence risks. […]